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Sometimes I wake up and feel like I’m carrying the weight of the world. I feel literal knots in my stomach. A build-up of sorrows and sad stories. The things I haven’t quite healed from. I know I’m not the only one either. You do it too sometimes. I don’t know, maybe it’s something in the air. Maybe we just seized the wrong day or something.
But I want to bring a little sunshine to you today. Because I know life can be good. Life can be inspiring. Life can make your jaw drop. It begins with two powerful little words though: self-love.
Self-love is all the rage now. And rightly so. I’m no expert on this. I’ve hit a few dead-ends and had my share of wrong turns. People nowadays will tell you self-love is taking a bubble bath and using that $50 face mask. Followed by hopping in your bed with freshly washed sheets. That’s not self-love. That is self-hygiene. Sometimes, self-love is letting go of a bad friendship. Or forgiving yourself for something you did in your past. (Guilty of not being the best at that.)
I don’t know what your situation is or how you got there. I don’t know how bad you messed up. Just a reminder, we have all done unforgivable things. We have all wanted to punch holes in the wall. We have all made someone cry. We’ve all had a broken heart. We’ve all told a lie. We’ve all wanted to throw our life away. The pain you have been through took pieces of your soul, but it also gave pieces to your soul. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think of yourself. I surely have not perfected this. There is still a little cussing angel on my shoulder who tells me I’m nowhere near it actually.
It’s a battle every day. And sometimes you lose.
Here are a few things to keep locked in that powerful mind of yours:
1. You will be happy again.
Kinda feels like an empty promise. But it really is just this simple: nothing will make you happy unless you choose to be happy. No one else will make you happy until you decide to be happy. Your happiness will not come to you. It can only come from you. It’s a choice. If you want to be happy again, be.
2. Let go or be dragged.
You’re responsible for how long you let it haunt you. Whatever it is that is causing you grief. I’m not making light of what you’re going through, I’m just saying that your future needs you. Your past doesn’t.
3. The power of the human mind.
Stop letting your thoughts run undisciplined. Your mind will always believe what you tell it. You run this ish so pay attention. Don’t speak badly of yourself. Feed your mind truth. Feed it love.
4. Don’t go back.
Sometimes self-love is making the decision to not go back to what hurt you. Old ways won’t open new doors.
5. Kindness makes you the most beautiful person in the world.
No matter what you feel, be known for your kindness and grace. Everyone deserves a smile when you see them. “Look at people with the eyes of your heart.” -Alexandra Vasiliu
6. Take care of that beautiful heart of yours.
The fragile nature of your heart is the softest piece of you. Do not leave it unhealed. Do not leave it unloved.
7. Evolving involves eliminating.
Eliminate anything that is hurting you. Doesn’t matter what it is. Delete. Turn it off. Unfollow. Mute. Block. Walk away. Breathe.
8. While you’re learning to love yourself, let God wander with you.
I have discovered a few things about God’s grace throughout this journey. I haven’t always allowed him to be a part of it with me. The valleys, the unknown. I disclosed him as someone I went to only when I was all neat and tidy. I have always wondered how Jesus could walk up to a cross knowing that I would look him in his bloody eyes and still choose sin anyways. (Even despite all the messy and distracting sin in our lives, He still could not love you more.) But now, I let God wander with me. In the corners of life that I never anticipated to find Him in. Believe in His heart and mind, and trust Him to surprise you with the pieces that will bring you home.
Here’s my love letter to you: You’re not a terrible person. You are all things soft. You’re strong and powerful. You have so much to offer as the person you are right now. Your heart is made of light. The light that is enough to inspire and elevate another soul. And will someday. You just have the find that place that brings out the human in you. The soul in you. The love in you. Trust me, years from now you’ll be dancing around in your kitchen eating cookie dough and singing Dancing Queen without a worry in the world. And if your neighbors are watching you, let them watch a free-spirited girl fall in love with being alive. Because that’s so beautiful. (And then shut the curtains because you have some creepy neighbors)