psalm 46:5 // erica atkinson

if you have ever experienced a tragic death of someone you cared about, you know how difficult it is to make sense of what happened. it actually doesn't make sense at all. it's like an ocean of emptiness and pain washes over you. this feeling cannot be perfectly described to anyone because no word i use to define it will ever do it justice to the damage it truly causes. it's the type of pain that you don't comprehend at first - the type of pain that you can't wrap your mind around.

i'd like to tell you a little bit about erica - through my eyes, how i saw her. i've always known erica, but i truly got to know her not too long ago. and of course, i was immediately drawn to her because of her sweet, kind spirit. she was beautiful, not just physically. but her soul was so gentle and so friendly that you couldn't help but love her. her heart was most definitely in the right place.

about a month ago, me, my friend, and my friend's mother went to mr. chick to catch up because the previous week we had spent apart. as we were talking and laughing and enjoying the presence of each other, erica and her best friend walked in. they ordered their food and sat down and when they got ready to leave, we were still at our table just cutting up and having a good time. erica's best friend is someone we know very well, so of course she came over to our table to say hello and erica tagged along, with her charismatic spirit. we were joking with her friend about staying single and not paying any attention to boys. and that kind of opened the discussion of boy troubles. everyone started sharing the latest about them and their guy issues, so they sat down and we started sharing our thoughts and opinions. erica jokingly said that she didn't think nice guys even existed. and before we knew it, that lead to an even deeper topic: God's plan for our soulmate. even though the conversation rooted from a joke, i think we truly poured our hearts out to erica about God's desires for her, not because we wanted to preach to her, not because it was something she needed to hear, but because she was so interested in every word that came out of our mouths. you could tell she was really thinking about what we were saying and taking it to heart.

since then, we have been texting and communicating with erica, not only to ask how she was doing, but to ask how she was taking our advice. she was so happy to text back every time and update us on the latest and never failed to mention that she was praying for the perfect man. building upon that solid base of love and happiness for her, we all developed a friendship with her through Christ. we started praying for her daily, encouraging her spiritual walk. i'm not sure if our words that we shared with her that night blessed her, but i do know that she has blessed me. the way that she was just sitting there without a care in the world how late it was getting or if she had a final the next day or not, just strictly focusing on taking in every bit of what we said about what God wanted for her. she was just so curious about everything we poured into her. her curiosity lead me to believe that if erica, a college student, is interested in what i have to say, then maybe other people would be too. so, i started writing blogs. and here i am now, writing this one for you, erica.

i know we are all feeling such grief because of the loss of such a beautiful spirit that left us too young, and i pray that your mind is guarded with His peace. just think about how happy she is right now - face to face with God. they are probably going over the story of her life and He is pointing out His favorite parts and laughing (God must have the best laugh in the world) and He probably has her wrapped up in His arms and she is in awe because she is experiencing the greatest love - the love of God. i still can't wrap my mind around the fact that she prayed for the perfect man, and now she is with the perfect man.